Greetings and Salutations 2006!

Date: Sun, 25 Dec 2005 10:11:04 -0500
If you enjoy it enough to forward it, please link here instead of copying and pasting to save the endangered bandwidth of the cybertrees! :)

In respect for all faiths and beliefs (and those lacking either), and in
recognition of power differences (implied or actual) and both past and
current abuses of said power, I offer you the following
psuedo-respectful (that is once you get past the subtle haze of sarcasm)
and tortuous yet politically correct holiday greeting:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-
addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the "year's end/winter
solstice/anticipation and/or celebration of a new year" holiday or
holidays or lack thereof due to any number of academic/life/work
(predominantly of the capitalist class process flavor) commitments
and/or general bah-humbug attitude you may or may not have settled into
sometime around the end of October when the grocery stores began to
display snowmen, huge snow globe decorations and large, red Elmo dolls.

May this time of the year be celebrated within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all (perhaps just like yourself! 
Which, if so, begs the question, why are you still reading this
message?).

Please consider it acceptable, and desirable, that this wish be extended
(in its current form or modified as you, the wishee, sees fit) to those
members of your community that you consider to be your family and close
friends, whether they be directly related to you by blood or otherwise
(recognizing that we all share genetic linkages at some level).

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western
Hemisphere.

This wish is offered without regard to the ethnicity, epidermal melanin
content/activity (thanks for all the zebrafish at Penn State), creed,
class position, age (mental, physical or spiritual), physical ability,
religious faith, sexual preference or gender identification(s) of the
wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting (you will
discover that this clause was grossly ignored and it is expected that
you, the wishees, will do the same within the boundaries of reason and
sharing some laughs!).

It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for herself or others, is void where prohibited by law
and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is
guaranteed (see note 1) to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and
said warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a
new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

~Sent with much love~

(1) Or is it guarantied??  An attempt to (resolve via) Google this
particular word usage conundrum led to a fascinating word usage debate
on "begging the question" on the political blog, Washington Monthly,
Isn't it ironic? After all, I also used this phrase in the text of this
message.  I will leave it to those of you with time to spare to figure
out whether my usage of the phrase is the "correct" one or the newer
one...

P.S.

The wisher would like to add the following disclaimer: she was not
involved in the creation of the original form of the afore-read wish, at
least no more than she or anyone else or any thing else has an impact on
events that have taken place, are taking place or will take place at any
point in the currently understood space-time continuum or any other that
may be relevant though not currently understood and/or known of.

P.P.S.

[NB: Excessive use of postscript notes, as well as excessive
verbosity in said postscript(s) is usually frowned upon and is
employed in this greeting with the sole purpose of annoying as many
people as absolutely possible while at the same time lavishing
those same people with a great deal of appropriately mushy love and
affection in a proportion to but not necessarily to exceed the annoyance
doled out in conjunction.  If the latter is indeed less than the former,
you'll know.  Also, this is not the standard and typically   
acceptable format for a postscript but alas I really could not possibly
care about such things in the current context.)

The previous disclaimer requires some clarification as the original
greeting was altered rather drastically both in content and formatting
without the permission, guidance or other direct involvement of the
originating wisher.  The original wisher is at liberty to submit their
objections to the current wisher at this e-address, at their
convenience.  Furthermore, if any of the current wishees wish to extend
their own end-of-the-year induced greetings to the current wisher, they
are most welcome to do so.

However, if they too feel that they have objections they wish to submit
with regard to the current incarnation of this
"festive-without-being-too-festive-nor-politically-offensive-   
except-to-those-for-whom-that-which-is-politically-correct-or- 
even-psuedo-politically-correct-or-even-wannabe-politically- 
correct-and/or-blatantly-and-excessively-politically-correct" greeting,
they are forewith asked to mull over said  objection for a time period
of not less than 365 days from the "message sent" timestamp included in
this e-missive, after which time said objection will be completely
irrelevant and moot and will no longer be acccepted at this address or
any other address that you or other wishees, for whom you already have
direct and meaningful contact, may have in their possession. 

Happy New Year!

Returning from hiatus...

What is the plural of hiatus?? I think I might need it whatever it is. But that is ok - I have excuses!

1) finishing Nanowrimo! I indeed did write a 50,000 word document that is stylistically not worth a single one of the bytes of data it is represented by but that wasn't the point. I have been told that it actually had some transient coherence in portions of it. I imagine these happened in the middle of the night when my body wrote while my mind dozed. Translation: I finally managed to get that editor in a chokehold and unconscious for a period of 30 days in November!! Woo hoo. Of course, now she's back with a vengeance. Revenge is still a dish best served cold. With a blood-red Sharpie! Mmm, Secretary. Ahem. Sorry - tangent.

2) remodeling projects. don't ask, it's been a nightmare. But I can honestly say that I have now seen more of the house than most in this country will see of any of the dwellings they will ever inhabit in their whole life. And I can dig a mean drainage ditch...given enough time and a new shovel. River stone is beautiful. Except when you have to pick it out of the adjacent lawn to prevent lawnmower accidents later on. But that was a few months ago now - there have been other projects to be sure though!!

3) work. yes - they do still expect me to do that. not sure why. obviously i need to be more like our dearly departed Scotty. "Aye, Cap'n - that I can do but it'll take me a good 2 weeks! Not a day sooner or the whole school might implode." Mind you it might do that without the likes of me being at all capable of doing a thing to prevent it.

4) theoretically editing and formatting NaNoWriMo document (see #1) for publishing by Lulu - just for the hell of it.

5) making a wedding present. It's long overdue. Well - it will be anyway.

6) writing goofy but festive holiday messages ... only e so far - but I do have some RL cards to send still!! eek.

7) making sweet potato pie! Mmmmmmmm! :) Trust me - I rule in the pastry chef department. Well most of the time. But then again my fix of the pie that OOPS had no sugar turned out to be the best pie I made so far. Odd. And no - no sharing of secrets. The mystery is half the allure. And they don't sell that at Whole Foods or Wild Oats or Capers or...

Ok - 'nough said. Back to your regularly scheduled programming. See ya back here soon.

love - moi