Three NZ Headliners

From The New Zealand Herald - very very tiny newsclips with LOTS of ads. But stumbled upon these 3 interesting stories thanks to this site all the same (linked from another story that is not quite as amuseyou-worthy), so might as well give the paper due credit, rather than finding the stories cited elsewhere. :D

And now for homicidal milking cows, torched schoolbuses and 'i smell a new reality show op'

1) How the meek have fallen...first the suicidal sheep...now the cows are taking action too? Then again maybe the cow was into S&M and things just got out of hand...so to speak. Oy - I know I know - I can hear the big dude pulling out my well-used file once again...scritch scratch. I keep trying to tell him, don't bother - I intend to spend my whole life seeking out sinful experiences and littering my conversations with blasphemy. But he seems to somehow enjoy writing me up...maybe _HE_ is the ultimate sadomasochist ... ha. Figures.

anyway politics and religion... neither to be discussed according to Ms. Lilly who is hoping she can make a difference in the world sitting in the park with a sign and encouraging random people to talk to other random people or herself about anything and everything (save those two subjects above).

2) Seemingly benign story about students protesting grades and the police brought in to bring the situation into control...I can see that - I mean if any of my students ever dared challenge my grading policies, clearly I might either take it personal and bring about a massive smackdown on their hindparts, then proceeded to flunk em all, OR I could wonder if it is all my fault, that I'm a bad teacher, not a good motivator and I'd take seriously that old saying about lighting a fire under someone's butt.......but umm what did the buses do to them to deserve being flamed also? And what are warning shots? I mean is it tequila, rum, whiskey etc? This is important info that wasn't included in this puny report. Can I even call it a report. I should think something like this _at minimum_ deserves some kind of research and a few more paragraphs. But I could be delusional. Ya never know!

and last but actually not least,

3) Number three...Yes yes our _three_ chief weapons are indeed fear, despair and a ruthless efficiency. Hmm sounds like the corporate world. Boy don't I miss that ... paycheck that is. :)

• But this story has naught to do with fear, despair, efficiency (ruthless or otherwise), weapons, corporations, paychecks or even the proper use of the ellipsis...instead it has to do with the UN's renovation project and possible bids...from whom, you say? Donald Trump. LOL oh boy - what joy. But like I said - I smell the makings of another reality show on his behalf guest starring Kofi Annan (maybe they can get him to model some Gucci suits or something)...

LOL losing steam here - must sleep. Until next time...here's more written earlier...

-------------------------------------------------
blah blah this is a link baa baa black sheep ...

Ok that wasn't coherent or relevant really (though it had a singsongy assonance to it - remember from Educating Rita, assonance is 'getting the rhyme wrong')

But as for lacking relevance, same could be said of the link included which takes you to a story on the website of what used to be (??) maybe not alternative radio exactly, but at least a more objective _alternative_ to mainstream media. Not really. And definitely not lately. The link is of course, another of NPR's attempts at a "lighter side of the news" filler spot that seems to pervade on talk radio to some degree. And yes - the kid was dumber than dust - we get that. But people in general are dumb. This has been proven again and again - and I'll outline the dumb folks here for you jsut in case you too are either momentarily lacking or permanently challenged in that regard:

• - the kid (not sure if you got that...my sarcasm can be too thick at times...*hands u a well-sharpened knife*)
• - the kid...(um, just checking..)
• - the kid
• - the robbers for leaving shit behind...! i got u there - actually no, the robbers were smart...'bc see if we leave a stash behind...see...then when the cops get here, right...well they'll find the stash right and think it as the kids - well cuz it is the kids...was the kids...yanno and yeah like the cops will have to arrest him and he can't like press charges behind bars n stuff...and won't come looking for our butts....yeah yeah brilliant.'
• - the cops? i'll leave this one up to the audience to comment/discuss amongst themselves....i aint going there...nearly had a runin with one today on the road home which is now speed trap heaven bc of some idiot (told you they are everywhere) who got into a nasty accident...now we all have to suffer...also, i had '4' 7's on my grocery receipt from Whole Foods and '4' 1s the last time i check the clock...
• - NPR for airing the spot? Definitely! Bingo - you got it. After all:
• They don't spend enough time as it is on important world n national issues, in trying to really dig deep and be unconventional, or in just presenting objective, unbiased (as much as that is possible!) facts about the news of the day/week so we can all make our own minds up about stuff...
• They forget one very important but true fact...which is that, most of us diehard NPR-nerds (despite the sharp decline in quality) probably already get stupid stories like this daily:
  
• 1-2/day just from reading news ourselves online...
• another 1 from that last friend who refusing to stop forwarding "this is really funny - no - really - you gotta read it" stuff to you despite your threats of bodily harm and other forms of injustice...
• and another still from reading blogs much like this one...
• last one added just for good measure again - i'm in that kinda mood tonight
• Giving us a _grand total_ of 5, maybe 6 inane stories of the assine things people do to themselves and others et cetera et c...

So the last thing we need is one more tossed our way from the radio! lol You want sensational...fine...but make it relevant sensationalism. Like us pulling a Jeffrey Amherst on the Martians with our microbes...Just like Agent Smith said:

Agent Smith: I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure. (Thanks imdb.com - a true staple of net-geeks and film-buffs, esp those that claim both hats as their own.)